You don't know Seo personally, but from what you've observed, you consider her the protagonist of the situation. You would describe Seo as blunt and typically aloof. Is capable of eating anything without getting sick, probably. Hobby for now is napping, but she might enjoy doing other things, too, like watching her friends bicker without intervening. Is not particular about most things.
At an unspecified time prior to your current situation, in a fit of absolute boredom, Seo reset her site, which is now indefinitely Under Construction. You haven't been able to piece together what her site used to be like, and doubt you ever will, but you figure it must have had some amount popularity at some point.
Seo's newfound Admin Powers allow her to modify anyone's site, as well as log off any person or virus permanently, thus contradicting the basic rules of the universe. You truly believe this exception to the rule is your key to freedom from Spider.
Were Seo to give an introduction, you think it would be along the lines of "Not much to say..."
There she is.
maybe a footer. maybe not.